The Pseudonym

Have you ever noticed my last name? It’s Kuolt. That’s right, a “u” before the “o”. This is a huge pain because even my best friends who have known me for years consistently get it wrong. I dread having to call a support number—like when I had to call about my Xbox 360’s red ring of death—and give my last name. Even if I pause after the “u” (“K-U… O-L-T”), 95% of the time when it’s repeated, it’s wrong (“So that’s K-O-U-L-T?”, “NO! K-U”, “Really?”).

And yes, I’m certain it’s spelled right. Stop asking. Ask my grandfather instead (note the spelling in the URL: “Kulot”).

As if that isn’t enough, most people get my first name wrong too. They usually start with “Jarred” (I wasn’t sealed in a jar), then “Jarod” (come on, really?), before finally accepting the proper spelling of “Jared”.

It could be worse, but this affects how I operate online. I can’t use my name .com as anyone typing it in the address bar would surely get it wrong. That’s the conclusion that led me to the pseudonym I currently use: SuperJared.

It’s important to note that I don’t hide my real identity either. My email address headers show my full name, the footer of my site displays my full name on every page, and I even have a photo of myself on the About page. Granted I’m only four years old in the photo, but I swear I don’t look any different now.

So while I would prefer to use my real name, I will continue to cruise the web as SuperJared.

Header image used courtesy of Lonely